If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
