hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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