also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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