? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
