At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize