Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
