Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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