I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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