like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
