You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
