Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize