my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
