Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
