Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
