I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
