Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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