So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
