Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
