I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
