Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
of course. lets lasso hookers.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
