The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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