Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
