Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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