D3 body, D1 cock
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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