Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize