dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
