I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
