And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize