Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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