I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
