So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize