Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
