he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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