Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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