He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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