Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize