i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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