He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
high people should be assigned attendants
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sobbing to NWA
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
