Pants 0. Shit 1.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
