it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
