Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
