i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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