It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
