I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
