four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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