Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
