Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
