well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize