Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
