giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
