I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
