Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sorry about my life...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
