I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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