never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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