You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this will be a night to untag.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize