yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
