I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
