Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
