I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
