Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
