I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
