Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
