I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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