Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
