my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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