why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
