JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
