u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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