Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
