ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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