Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
