he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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