I murdered the dance floor call the cops
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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