I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
