I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize