I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
